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Reaching out for help isn’t easy, especially when it means starting a tough conversation with a parent, caregiver, or other adult in your life. But needing support doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you and it doesn't mean you’re weak.
Whether you’re feeling anxious, down, overwhelmed, or just not like yourself, here are some tips to help you start the conversation.
1. Give yourself permission to need help.
Being a teen comes with a lot of stuff. Grades, testing, future planning, peer conflicts, romantic relationships, family drama, extracurriculars, current events…the list goes on. It’s ok to feel stressed, sad, anxious, overwhelmed or just blah. It’s ok to not be able to name what you’re feeling, but to know something isn’t right. And, it’s ok to realize you need some help coping.
- Quick self-check: Have you noticed your mood dropping for more than a couple weeks? Struggling to sleep, eat, or stay motivated? Snapping at people or zoning out? These can all be signals that some mental health support might help.
- Consider downloading a mood tracking app or keeping a mood journal. This can help you identify trends and triggers.
2. Figure out what you’re going to say.
Jot down a few notes in your phone or on paper so you’re not scrambling for words.
- Start with the feeling: “Lately I’ve felt super anxious during school.”
- Add how the feelings are affecting you: “It’s making it hard to focus and my grades are slipping.”
- Ask for what you want: “I think talking to a counselor could help.”
Just like you, adults aren’t mind-readers, so be super clear with what you need from them and what you’re asking for.
Tip: If saying it face-to-face feels impossible, write a text, or hand them a note and ask to talk when they’ve read it.
3. Pick a moment to bring it up.
Timing is important. Catch them when they’re not rushing to work, focused on the TV, or doing chores. You can even consider scheduling a time to talk so you can be sure you'll have their attention–”I really need to talk to you about something important. Can we set aside a few minutes later tonight?”
- During a meal together
- During a car ride
- On a walk around the neighborhood
You deserve their full attention, so try to find a moment of calm, when you feel safe and confident.
4. Expect mixed reactions.
Some adults will be 100 % supportive. Others might freak out, change the subject, dismiss what you’re feeling, or try to make you feel better with the classic “everything is going to be ok.”
- Stay calm: “I get that this is surprising, but I need you to take it seriously.”
- Use facts: Share a journal entry, recent grades, a school counselor’s note, or a mood-tracking app screenshot if it helps them see the pattern.
- Give them time: Every generation thinks about mental health differently. People raised in the “tough it out” era may need a minute to adjust, but that’s on them, not you.
If what you were hoping for doesn’t come from the conversation, consider looping in another trusted adult, for example an aunt, coach, school counselor, or youth leader.
5. Know you’re not alone.
Millions of teens deal with anxiety, depression, grief, identity questions–you name it. You’re not weird for needing help; you’re brave for asking.
Asking for help can feel overwhelming
Speaking up can feel terrifying, but lonely silence is heavier. You deserve to feel better, and this conversation is the first step. You can’t predict what the adult in your life will say, or how they’ll respond, but you can control how you come to the conversation.
Take a deep breath, use the tips above, and speak up. You’ve got this!
